Monday, November 23, 2009

The Perks of Having Swine Flu, Edition 1

Yes. I have indeed been hit with the dreaded H1N1. Oink, oink goes Miss KR. But let's be honest -- I'm not letting the global pandemic get me down. You see, there are really tons and tons of perks to swinging with the swine. Let's discuss:

1. I can lie in bed all day marathoning Mad Men, dreaming about how glamorous my life would be if I lived like Joan Holloway circa the '60s. Red lipstick, corsets, attractive advertising magnates, daily happy hours, jazz music... I would definitely fit in with the Madison Ave. gang at Sterling Cooper. This show is on. the. money.

2. My appetite is non-existent. Living solely on water and soup will neutralize the fact that I'll be eating my body weight in stuffing and sweet potatoes come Thursday... assuming the Swine is shaken by then. Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot bikini here I come!

3. Technically, I'm quarantined, but I like to view this "sequestering" as a time of true pampering. When else in college do you have your meals delivered directly to your dorm room door?! The PC term is "Flu Buddy," but I'll allow my delirious swine state to convince me that I've got multiple personal assistants.

4. I've had loads of time to convert my favorite YouTube tunes and mash-ups to MP3s. Favorites include Anya Marina's cover of "Whatever You Like" and Usher and T-Swift's ancient-but-fabulous mash-up called "Club Love."

5. I get to rock a trendy face mask. I don't know what's more stylish: the hair net I wore while touring Easton's chocolate paradise, or this mouth-and-nose covering I'm forced to rock when leaving my quarantine to relieve my kidneys.

6. I can read this blog all day. This New Yorker can dress! Plus, she's a Brooklynite! Win-win.

7. I can amuse you with more PERKS OF HAVING SWINE FLU. Edition 2 is a work in progress. Stay tuned!

Cough, cough, sniffle, sniffle,



Allison said...

I know you helped me with the adjustment to college-life...but now YOU finally get to realize how lucky you are to have ME on campus!!!!

Hope you enjoyed the soup!!

xoxo, #1 "Flu Buddy"