Wednesday, December 22, 2010

An Ode to the Boys Who Like Boys

I have two questions on this lovely, yet frigid, Wednesday morning: (1) What is the Sundance Channel? and (2) Why the #$%^ did they not choose ME as one of the stars of its newest—and sure to be smash—hit “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys!?”

I’m serious! In my travels from middle school theatre camp to high school hallways to college clubs and to the streets of New York, I always tend to befriend the boys who like boys—and these boys who like boys have made some of the best friends I’ve had in my years as an a capella-loving, sushi-eating, ANTM-watching recessionista. Honestly, this show was made forme, but now I just feel like crying because I missed the boat on becoming the Sundance Channel’s next—or perhaps even first?—big and fabulous reality star with my big and fabulous entourage of glamorously gorgeous gays.

But, alas! Enter my Chief Boy Who Likes Boys (and oh does he ever!), CM (you can see us above, subwaying home after a night of breaking it down on the dance floor, hence my messy 'do, but the vintage Gucci bag from Le Closet de Mamadukes makes up for it, don't ya think?), to wipe away my proverbial tears (proverbial because I know CM would totes call me out on an un-fierce make-up application—he watches too much Tyra!) and promise me that we’ll audition for the next season. And then enter NW, another one of my favorite boys who likes boys (and ladies, this is a true shame—this BWLB is smokin'!), who actually proposed that we create our own show. If this doesn't have BRAVO written all over it, I don't know what does. Andy Cohen, have your people call mine and we an arrange a sit down over Cosmos.

So, mysterious Sundance Channel: stay tuned! Because your ratings are about to learn the meaning of “skyrocket” when KR, CM and NW break out onto the scene…or at least the dance floor of the newest and hottest club in Hell’s Kitchen!


Joel Derfner said...

They didn't cast you because you're too fabulous, and you would have made the rest of us in the cast look like total losers.